How to Know If You and Your Partner Need Couples Therapy

Every relationship goes through challenging seasons. Stress, life transitions, work demands, family dynamics, and personal struggles can all impact how partners connect. Many couples I see in Encino and throughout Los Angeles initially wonder the same thing: Is this just a rough patch, or do we need support?

Couples therapy isn’t only for relationships in crisis. Often, it’s for couples who care deeply about each other but feel stuck, disconnected, or unsure how to move forward. If you’re questioning whether therapy might help, here are some signs to consider.

You’re Having the Same Argument Repeatedly

Do your disagreements start to feel familiar — almost scripted? Maybe the topic changes, but the emotional pattern stays the same. One partner pursues, the other withdraws. One feels unheard, the other feels criticized.

When couples get stuck in repetitive conflict cycles, it’s usually less about the surface issue and more about unmet attachment needs underneath. Couples therapy helps identify and interrupt these patterns so conversations don’t keep circling back to the same painful place.

Communication Feels Tense or Avoidant

Healthy communication doesn’t mean never disagreeing. It means being able to express needs, frustrations, and feelings without fear of escalation or shutdown.

If conversations feel tense, defensive, or emotionally loaded — or if you’ve both started avoiding certain topics altogether — it may be a sign that your communication system needs support. Therapy offers tools to slow down reactions, reduce defensiveness, and rebuild emotional safety so both partners feel heard. Learning to communicate clearly and respectfully often involves understanding healthy boundaries.

You Feel Lonely in the Relationship

One of the most painful experiences in a partnership is feeling alone while still being together. You may share a home, responsibilities, and daily life — but feel emotionally distant.

Loneliness in relationships often develops gradually. It can stem from unresolved conflict, stress, or simply drifting apart over time. Sometimes conflict patterns are connected to deeper self-esteem struggles or fears of not being enough. Couples therapy creates space to reconnect, express vulnerability, and rebuild emotional closeness in a way that feels safe for both partners.

Trust Has Been Shaken

Trust can be shaken by many things — infidelity, secrecy, broken agreements, dishonesty, or even repeated emotional invalidation. Once trust is impacted, couples often struggle with how to move forward.

Rebuilding trust isn’t about forcing forgiveness or “getting over it.” It involves understanding what happened, processing the hurt, rebuilding transparency, and restoring emotional security. With guidance, couples can move toward repair rather than remaining stuck in resentment or fear.

You Want to Feel Closer but Don’t Know How

Sometimes there isn’t a dramatic event or constant fighting. Instead, there’s a quiet sense that something feels off. You may love your partner deeply and still feel unsure how to reconnect, increase intimacy, or strengthen your bond.

Wanting to feel closer is actually a hopeful sign. It means the relationship matters to you. Couples therapy can help you rediscover shared meaning, deepen emotional connection, and learn new ways of showing up for each other.

Taking the Next Step

Seeking couples therapy doesn’t mean your relationship has failed. Often, it means you’re committed to growth and willing to invest in understanding one another more fully.

I offer Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) in Encino and online throughout California for partners who want to strengthen communication, rebuild trust, and feel more connected. If you’re wondering whether therapy might help your relationship, I’d be happy to talk with you about next steps.

With gratitude,

Atalie Abramovici