Do you find yourself being harder on yourself than you would ever be with someone you care about?
Do you struggle to trust your decisions, doubt your worth, or feel like you’re “not enough”?
Do compliments feel difficult to take in, even when part of you wants to believe them?
Low self-esteem can show up as self-criticism, people-pleasing, perfectionism, comparison, or feeling like you’re constantly falling short. You might appear confident on the outside while feeling unsure, anxious, or inadequate on the inside.
You deserve a relationship with yourself that feels kinder, steadier, and more supportive.
How I Approach Self-Esteem in Therapy
My work with self-esteem is strengths-based, and humanistic. Instead of focusing only on what’s “missing” or “wrong,” we also pay attention to:
your resilience
your values
your strengths and lived experiences
the parts of you that already know how to cope and care
your fullest potential and ability to achieve it
We explore the messages you’ve learned about yourself from family, culture, relationships, trauma, or experiences where you felt unseen or not enough — and we consider whether those messages actually belong to you.
Building Self-Trust
Self-esteem isn’t just about liking yourself — it’s deeply connected to self-trust.
The word confidence comes from the Latin confidentia, from fidere, meaning “to trust.”
So at its core, confidence is about self-trust — trusting your feelings, your judgment, your worth, and your ability to handle what comes your way.
In therapy, we work toward:
trusting your feelings and intuition
honoring your limits and needs
building confidence in your decisions
relating to yourself with compassion instead of criticism
As you build self-trust, confidence follows naturally.
Reshaping Self-Talk
We will use Narrative Therapy to look at the stories you’ve learned to tell about yourself — where they came from, how they were reinforced, and whether they truly reflect who you are today. Often, self-esteem is impacted by long-standing narratives such as “I have to be perfect,” “I’m not enough,” or “My worth depends on what I do for others.”
Rather than seeing these as absolute truths, we treat them as stories that formed in certain contexts — in families, relationships, school, culture, or moments when you had to adapt in order to belong or feel safe.
Through this approach, we:
identify the messages that have shaped your self-talk
notice the impact those stories have on your mood, choices, and relationships
separate you from the problem (“I’m struggling with self-criticism,” vs. “I am the problem”)
intentionally strengthen alternative narratives based on self-trust, strengths, values, and resilience
Living From Your Values
A key part of our work together involves helping you reconnect with your values — the kind of person you want to be and the life you want to build — even when self-doubt or self-criticism shows up. Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we will gently shift the focus from “How do I get rid of these thoughts?” to “How do I want to live, even when these thoughts are present?”
We will explore what truly matters to you, and the small, realistic steps that move you in that direction. Along the way, you’ll learn ways to respond differently to difficult thoughts and feelings — instead of fighting them, avoiding them, or letting them run the show.
Self-esteem isn’t about becoming someone different. It’s about coming home to yourself, learning to trust who you already are, and creating a kinder inner voice.